Escalator Etiquette

Yo. So. PM recently relocated to our awesome new giant-ass building in Lausanne. Which has been great on many levels, including having great restaurants and also a gym, etc. Yes, you should be jealous. However, there is a massive cultural misunderstanding involving getting around the building. There are numerous escalators, as the building was constructed into a large hillside. I don't know what it is, man. Euros DO NOT WALK EITHER UP OR DOWN ESCALATORS. they STAND there. IN THE MIDDLE! I almost had a freaking brain aneurysm the other day trying to get from the highest point in the building to the lowest. It took me, i shit you not, about 5 extra minutes from standing. As new yorker, I'm even MORE incensed by this behavior. I may post signs. Thus enduth my rant for the day...

Proper Scrum

Scrum against CERN last weekend. Can't see me, but i'm in the middle of the front row.

Thursday Musings

1. Happy Thanksgiving. I hate you all. It is raining here, and I'm at work. 'nuff said.

2. If you guys don't update your blogs, I'm going to a) de-link them and b) take mine down. Step it up.

3. Hell of a rugby game last saturday. My camera broke but two friends managed a few pictures. They are up somewhere on facebook. i'll get 'em, but nothing too exciting. Good news is I survived 80 mins at hooker, didn't disfigure myself on the surface, had a few nice runs, and stole a couple of hooks off the other guys. I think i have finally convinced the coach that I can hook far better than I can prop. Bad news is we lost a nail-biter. It was a slugfest, man. Closest analogy of the type of game it was would be to, say, pit the steelers against the ravens. No big runs, just grind it out rugby with good defense. We played hard, but just got beaten by a better team. And battered. We carry 7 subs. Used all of them for injuries. So did they, though. I now know what it feels like to be sacked by a defensive lineman as I was (illegally, i might add, as you can't come around a ruck (offsides)) blindsided in the upper ribs by a deranged englishman. x-rays await me tomorrow...

Highlight of the game for me was when the same lunatic who sacked me thought he'd get cute (and illegal again) and play the ball on the ground (in another ruck) called me a 'fucking gobshite' after i 'accidentally' stepped on his hand to get him off the ball. So i calmly looked down at him (he was immobile, being under a large pile o' people) and said 'what's a gobshite, dude?' gotta love the English.

Bands I Hate

Dude. Seriously? I hate The Eagles. Always have, always will. I'm sorry. I'm not saying YOU can't like them, but everytime I hear this lame-ass 'music by numbers' (and I'm sorry, that's what it's been since its inception), it makes me want to scream.

And man, i like plenty of mainstream pop bands from the 70s, so this isn't some, like, anti-seventies thing. I like WINGS, dude. But these guys...Man, they churn my butter...

In actual writing...

Woo-hoo.

It's not gay...it's for charity

Thank god I was in New York when the guys put this together...

Speaking of rugby, last game this weekend against CERN. Yes, that CERN, home of the LHC. I'm pretty sure that fucker runs right under the rugby pitch. In any case, if you think a bunch of nuclear scientists are pussies, you'd be dead wrong. These fuckers are violent, big, fast, and currently only 2 points behind us in the Swiss League B standings. I mean, they are NUCLEAR PHYSICISTS. I think they can, like, figure out the exact right angle at which to hit your knee so that your BRAIN explodes. They're GENIUSES, man....

Anyway, this is a winner take all game for first place. Oh. And YR is getting the start at No. 2 (otherwise known as my proper position of hooker). 80 minutes of rugby. Shudder. Wish us luck.

I am a Winter Driving God

Dude. DUDE...Swiss people check the weather a LOT. Kind of like Luddy. I mean, they really take it seriously. Now I know why. I'm usually quite a well-prepared boy for all sorts of eventualities. The one time I'm not caused quite a little adventure up on a gnarly little mountain road to Leukerbad. Rain in Lausanne usually means nothing in the Valais, as there is a huge variety of climates here. In any case, on Saturday, rain in Lausanne meant DEATH BLIZZARD on this windy, switch-back laden mountain road. Well, I'm driving a subaru, thought I. But I have not yet switched off the summer tires. This was a deadly mistake. Anyhoo, four-wheel drive didn't mean shit in this nonsense. Finally lost all traction, slid backwards down said gnarly mountain road for about 20-30 feet, and then paused to consider options, including, but not limited to, just crawling into a snowbank to die. But ah-hah. Russell is not TOTALLY unprepared! He takes advantage of the fact that he has been lazy and NOT cleaned his car since the winter and voila! two crisp, mint, still-in-package tire chains are awaiting in the back. Now if only he can get them on. YR is not very mechanically-inclined (i can't even assemble Ikea furniture without a slide rule and a mission statement). So in steps a Real Live Swiss Person (Miss Andrea) who has experience in such things to save the day. I decided that the best approach for me was to shout encouraging things like, 'nice!' and 'sweet!'. I think we made a good team. Then we actually helped someone else put on HER chains (YR now had the general idea) and we made our way the last 8 miles or so in first gear in my little red ninja car. Exciting stuff.

Moral of the story (and I think i mentioned this last year). Be prepared for the winter, boys and girls. It can sneak up on you.

smooches.

Just in Time for the Holidays

Only, like, 30 shopping days left in the States! Go to the mall! Wait, oh shit...Don't go to the mall, Al Qaeda is trying to fuck your shit up! What are you gonna do? How are you going to get your shopping done? Do you have your little Al Qaeda kit with you? I know, just get gas masks for the whole family, bomb suits, and be on your way to the MOA with a big happy smile on your faces.

fuck. me.

hee-hee...

My Beautiful Face

I've been mangled, dude. Some neolithic monster from La Chaux de Fonds decided to smash my face with his elbow or his knee when I was tackling him yesterday in our rugby match.
Truth be told, not 100% sure WHAT body part he hit me with, but those seem to be the two most likely culprits. The good news is that we won the game. The bad news is that I have a black eye that will make work relatively interesting, and i was minorly cuncussed. Hence my poor grammar/spelling. The eye is also making little children scream...But here are a couple of pictures from the day. :) Forgive the photo quality; it's not the photographer, it's the bloody POS camera I'm still using. Next up? Canon A 6 whatever it's called. I'll get you all a proper photo to show you the eye in all its glory...

(Above) Russell in the Lineout. Check out the Sexy Legs






Russell in Motion...Where is ball? FIND BALL!!

So that's what the apres game beer is for...And Andrea is actually holding me up here... :)